Everything we do romantically is shaped by gendered scripts; in American scripts, men are usually handed the responsibility of initiating dates or sexual encounters.
Being rejected sucks. Let me tell you about my first experience with it. Like me, the object of my desire was 13 years old, and he was the hottest thing ever -- a geek who loved the natural sciences. He seemed like an awesome match for an Internet-obsessed nerd girl with weird pets. Sadly, he responded to my overture by saying that I could shove one of my pets up my ass. I can laugh about this now, but it sure sucked in my teens, and gave me a complex about asking guys out that lasted through my 20s. Like just about everyone in the world, I know about the pain of rejection.
But I know how the receiving end can get, too. I grew up into a woman who -- like many women -- routinely manages unwanted advances from men. Some of those advances are not made with good intent, like the guys who shout gross comments at me in the street. Yet at the same time as that kind of deliberately invasive behavior is going on, there are also people of all genders trying to initiate real, mutual romantic relationships -- often misstepping even when their partner is receptive, and often experiencing very sad rejections.
You can read the rest here: http://www.alternet.org/story/148990/why_are_men_always_expected_to_make_the_first_move_in_sex_and_relationships
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